15 September 2008

power of positive thought?

The frigid temperatures inside the reading room forced me outside for lunch, where I'm eating on the steps of the Met Pioneer Theatre next to Constance Billard the law school. Besides trying to NOT pretend I'm in GG fantasy world, my biggest challenge so far has been keeping my mind right.

4 weeks in, and I've already had a few bad days. More than time management or simply the hefty load of work I've been given, I have struggled most with keeping the right attitude about the task in front of me.

Today is a good day. Today I look at the assignments and know that I'm actually working directly towards my professional goals. I look at the job postings and clinical listings on the cork boards and get excited about the prospect of soon being able to apply to both. I know that I'm going to be at school for 6 more hours today (after already having been here for 4) and I'm ok with that. Days like today, I can tell myself to work hard because the end will be worth it.

On bad days, I can't even remember why I wanted to come here. The work stretched out in front of me is endless, with little relief for the next 9 months. I can't imagine grinding away at these casebooks every single day. I can't handle carrying around my 100 lbs worth of text books all the way to the bus stop, then to the school, and back again. I am trying to keep those days to a minimum, and truth be told, time is actually going by pretty fast. I'm sure I'll beg it to slow down as we get closer and closer to finals and final assignments, but I will be fine as long as I work day-to-day and keep my perspective right. I have found that I can't think about the end result when I'm tired or cranky...I have been getting better at stopping when my mind is in the wrong place, taking a break, and coming back later. My mind is pretty useless when I'm exhausted and irritated.

Sigh. Now I just need to work on getting more sleep...

1 comment:

Adiel said...

I feel ya on the getting more sleep, I finally had to quit one of my three jobs because the lack of sleep was killing me. Good luck reaching your goals!